Seminary Sugar Mamma

Should Your Wife Work So You Can Go to Seminary?

There’s a trend among men pursuing ministry that needs to be addressed head-on: sending their wives into the workforce so they can pursue seminary or pastoral work. Let’s not sugarcoat it—if you need a “Seminary Sugar Mamma” to bankroll your calling, you're not called to the pastorate.

That may sound harsh, but it’s biblical. 1 Timothy 5:8 doesn’t leave room for excuses: “If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If that verse applies to anyone, it applies to the man who trades his role as provider and protector so he can chase a ministry platform.

The call to shepherd God’s people does not exempt you from manhood—it demands it. A man who can’t or won’t provide for his family is disqualified before he ever steps behind a pulpit. You might say, “But I feel called.” Here's the reality: God doesn’t call a man to ministry and simultaneously call him to neglect his household.

This often stems from a faulty assumption—that seminary is the only path to ministry. It’s not. The modern seminary system has created a culture of confusion: young men who think they’re called because they enjoy theology, not because they’ve proven themselves as faithful men. So they chase degrees, marry early, and enter full-time studies without job skills, pastoral seasoning, or any real-world maturity. And then reality hits. Louisville is full of Southern Seminary dropouts—good men who thought they were called, but weren’t. And many dragged their wives and children through financial strain and spiritual disarray in the process.

To be clear, this isn’t an attack on theological education. My church supports Covenant Baptist Theological Seminary and many of our elders have taken courses there. But seminary should never precede proven faithfulness. You don’t abandon your household to pursue ministry training—you pursue ministry training after you’ve shown yourself faithful at home.

When a man constructs a life where his wife must work so he can “prepare for ministry,” he’s not sacrificing—he’s offloading. If she’s out providing while he’s at home avoiding a job, avoiding fatherhood, and avoiding responsibility, that’s not biblical masculinity—it’s functional feminism. It’s the “Seminary Sugar Mamma” model of manhood: outsourced provision, delayed maturity, and spiritualized neglect.

I’m not saying a woman should never work. There are valid seasons for that. But if your “calling” depends on your wife shouldering the financial burden while you prepare for a pulpit, you're not building a home—you’re building a platform on her back. You don't get to shepherd God’s house while your own is in disarray. That’s not ministry. That’s a mess.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing a man can do is get a job, pay the bills, raise his kids, and read theology on his lunch break. It’s not flashy, but it’s faithful. That’s duty. And that’s what God honors.

If you're reading this and realizing it hits close to home, take heart. I’m not saying drop everything today. Finish your current semester, reassess, and reset. Get to work. Build your household. Be a man who provides, leads, and loves his family well. If God has truly called you to ministry, He won’t require you to trample your home to get there.

You don’t need a Seminary Sugar Mamma. You need to be a man.

Do your duty. God will handle the rest.

This article was inspired by a recent Snake on the Table podcast with my fellow pastor, Tanner Cartwright